beneath asphyxiating tongue and dress,
we lean on people like banisters
when we should have just sat,
undone zippers,
felt our lungs expand.
stay heaving like this is the first day God said
ok now breathe
but we are just babies
so we’re straight gasping
and grasping for chests
that look like home.

some concave bodies
collapsing into each other’s history of war,
some discussion of scar tissue and black cohosh when we
fucked to get the battle out but didn’t mean to
birth a storm,
some managed self beratement,
some idea of each other’s self denigration and
negligence of past hearts
and those we broke with stifled rage before our fear of purpose and general
mistrust of us erupted we had an
elusive non egoic love
where the two of us recognized that in this moment
there was a fairy tale wafting through the air somewhere
and the other was enough.

it was precisely thirty seconds of silence and touch
and if it ever does happen again,
I would remove another layer and
put my trust in luck.

 

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